2 months ago
How do you love and serve someone that wants help but they are too prideful to receive it when it’s actually given to them? I was extremely prideful in admitting I needed help but at the same time I was DESPERATE to get out of my situation. As a result I did desperate things. I spent a lot of money to appear okay, jumped in relationships to appear whole, and I blamed others to hide my choices. I did this as an attempt to deny my pain. I would say statements like: I’m finding my truth and I don’t care what people think… but my reckless choices showed the opposite— I actually cared a lot about what people thought. How do you show up for someone when they reject the advice that would help them, not hurt them? >>> Here it is: You can understand someone’s hurt and not agree with their choices… We have a tendency to completely disconnect with someone that is making choices that we don’t agree with because if we understand, then we are complying with their choice— or so we think. >> The truth: You can understand someone’s choice but that does not mean you agree with their choice. When someone feels understood; they feel seen, and when they feel seen they feel safe. They are a step closer to softening their hardened heart… and to receive your input that could help them because here’s the thing… their extreme defensiveness is out of their amygdala. (that’s part of the brain that keeps them safe and their response is either fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.) If they have had trauma in their life that’s been unattended to healing, this will be where they operate out of. The only way for them to be able to feel safe with you and receive your feedback is to help them feel safe to leave that defensive mode. Understanding takes them out of their amygdala and it unlocks the frontal lobe (the place we make our decisions and movement from). Crazy, huh? Understanding is not agreeing. Understanding is a selfless choice to put your opinions aside and hear someone’s broken heart. Their hurting lens on life is an honor and to honor them we must first start by understanding. — Thank you @gwinnettchurchcare for giving me space to share my story. ❤️
So well said! ❤️
💯👏🏼 TRUTH. People are missing so many opportunities to truly be there for others because of this very thing!!
Thanks Eryn I have been educated now 🙌
@eryneddy Your vulnerability and transparency bless my soul. I love you and I believe in you, phenomenal woman of God! I'm praying for you! ❤️🙌❤️
This is great insight Eryn! Thanks for sharing!
You are the sweetest!!! And a powerhouse in the Lord!! ❤️